Why Social Media Can Be So Divisive
It is an understatement to say that 2020 has been one of the craziest years in our lifetime! Covid-19, the quarantines, election year, the tensions that have risen due to racial injustice, and on and on it goes. These events are enough in and of themselves, but the emotional stress is compounded by social media combativeness.
As a pastor, my people are forwarding me videos every day with some important issue I need to consider. Some of the videos are calling me out as a pastor who needs to take a stand, and have more political backbone!?! I am not offended by this, but I am concerned about the larger trends.
When I do take the time to browse through the Facebook stream, I see some of my church members having a open debate, about whatever issue is affecting them at the moment. Some of the social media behaviors are downright embarrassing and truly troubling on some many levels.
So what makes this medium of interaction so potentially harmful to our culture, to the church as a whole, to our witness as Christ-followers, and to our own souls? I believe that part of the reason is that this form of interaction violates several key best practices in life.
#1 - Never say anything confrontational in writing!
One of the key things I have learned over 29 years as a Lead Pastor, is that it is always best to have a difficult conversation face to face. Now, let me say that I have personally violated this principle more than once. I have sent a long direct email and suffered the consequences of it. Writing does not convey tone. Writing does not allow for non-verbal communication.
When you write something difficult or direct, the person reading it cannot hear your soft and tender tone of appeal. They can’t see your warm and loving smile. So they react based on how they assume you were feeling when you wrote it.
#2 - Never say anything when you are angry!
Statements we make, quotes we forward, and videos we re-share, are often conveyed when we are highly emotional. We are upset or concerned about something, and at that moment, we send out a message without really thinking about the impact.
‘Everyone needs to see this! Everyone needs to be aware of this!’ is what we reflexively think.
James 1 teaches us, ‘Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. For the anger of (people) does not accomplish the righteous purpose that God desires.” Talking too quickly, and too emotionally is often a sign that we are neglecting wisdom We are bent on talking more than listening and understanding, and therefore can potentially cause damage.
#3 - Never say anything publicly that you haven’t first said personally and privately.
Jesus teaches us the process of resolving conflict in Matthew 18:15-17. If you are offended at a brother or sister, first of all go to them personally and appeal to them about it. Conflicts, especially between believers, were never intended to be aired out in public before they were discussed in private.
You say, ‘yes, but am not offended at anyone, so to speak. I am just advocating for an issue. I am speaking truth to power. I am voicing support or opposition for a candidate. I am bringing awareness to an injustice.’
Yes. But you are saying it to all your social media ‘friends’. You are shouting something confrontational to those you are in some type of relationship with, and also with the broader world as well. “I know you are a republican, but you need to hear this about the candidate you support!” “I know you are a democrat but you need to understand how dangerous the organization you are talking about truly is!”
There is absolutely nothing wrong with advocating for change!
What I am saying is that those conversations would be best had face to face, where ideas can be exchanged. In fact, any face to face conversation that I have had about these issues has ended up with some type of agreement. It’s amazing how we are much closer to one another than we think. But you would never know it by what you see on social media.
I believe we should talk about all the issues that concern us. But we should do so out of relationship, and in person, and not on social media.
#4 - Never argue with or shame another believer in public.
One of the big problems that the Corinthian church had was the problem of division. Paul writes to them in 1 Corinthians 6, “If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world…I say this to shame you…”
Believers arguing in public with one another brings shame to God’s reputation!
But the question could be asked, “how am I supposed to change minds and win people to my party or my cause if I do not use my social media platform to do so?” Honestly, that is a really great question. I think that is worthy of some serious prayer and thought. There is probably an answer that God will lead you to discover.
What I will say is that the evidence is already in concerning the use of social media platforms. Social media has been one of the major factors in dividing us into two tribes that are no longer listening to each other. There is no doubt that this method is harming the culture, dividing people in the church, and bringing shame to the reputation of the name of Jesus. (I know that was a strong statement).
I believe we need to find another way!!!
#5 - Never let someone else’s words speak for you unless you are absolutely certain that is what you want to say
Its becoming increasingly popular to forward videos and memes that we see. Its so easy to do. All you have to do is like and share. Somewhere in those split seconds between like and share, we need a FILTER! Not everything that you found enjoyable or humorous, or inspiring is something that you personally should pass on to the world.
In fact, I am quite sure that we all are consuming way too much of that kind of material anyway! First, because it is bad for your spirit. Jesus said, ‘you can judge an activity by its fruit.’ If the byproduct of spending an hour looking at videos and posts on Facebook, leaves you feeling more angry and anxious, then it was not a healthy activity.
Second, what you re-post and share, may not truly be what you want to say or the way you want to say it. You may be actually sowing anger and anxiety to others when you send it. Some might find new awareness in it. But others might be offended at you for sending it, or even just be infected with more fear or more frustration due to what you willfully chose to deposit on their stream.
Here a few warnings from the scripture:
But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. (Jesus) Matthew 12:36
Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. James 1:1-2
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. James 3:9-10
Last week, I took time to watch the documentary on Netflix that is called THE SOCIAL DILEMMA. In the film, some of the creators and insiders to the social media giants shared how dangerous these platforms have become. Most of them will not let their kids even use it. It is a must watch for every spiritual leader.
I have not decided to abandon social media. I am going to use it for the Kingdom. But I am not going to let it use me. It needs to be something we use with mindfulness of the danger and division that it causes.
Some of you will not like this post because you are addicted to social media. You cannot imagine life without it. For you, I challenge you to stop using it for a week and see how you feel without it. I believe you will be so much healthier for it.