What Decade Of Life Are You In?
In just a few months, I will complete my thirtieth year as the Lead Pastor of Allison Park Church. When I tell some younger people that, they look at me like I should be able to describe the architecture of Noah’s Ark! What was it like to be alive way back when!?!
When I entered my fifties, I have to say that my age bothered me a bit. How did I get here? It used to be that someone who was 56 years old was really really old! Now it does not seem so old at all. As they say, it’s all a matter of perspective!
And that’s what I want to talk about. Each season of life carries its advantages! And each has some disadvantages. Knowing what season you are in allows you to maximize and enjoy the moment. Let’s trace these season by the decades.
#1 - THE TWENTIES: The Directional Decade
When we hit these early adulthood phase of life, we are often trying to figure out who we are, what we are designed to do, and who we want to be with. So many huge decisions are made during this time frame. Truly, we set the course of our lives when we are here.
This can be a bit intimidating! It can even be paralyzing because we don’t want to get stuck in something we don’t enjoy; we don’t want to make a mistake. There are some key things that make this season more effective.
Surround yourself with wise counsel that will help you build wisdom into your life.
Take on responsibility early. The more you take on, the more you learn about who you are and what you are capable of doing.
Don’t be afraid to change course, especially in this early season, while there are so many options out there.
The most important decision you make is who you marry; it’s even more than your career direction.
#2 - THE THIRTIES: The Establishment Decade
If you handle the decisions of your twenties well, you end up building on those good decisions through your thirties. You start to become effective in your career of choice. Most begin to build a family. It’s in this decade that many will have purchased a home and will start some type of financial plan.
It’s during this time that pressure starts to arrive in your life in increasing measure. Now, you are starting to working longer hours, while at the same time raising kids, and maybe dealing with the challenges of owning your own home. Because you are being seen as established, more is expected of you than before. It’s possible that you can start to feel trapped. Here’s what you need at this time:
Mentors and role models - you need to find multiple people in your life that you look to for covering and advice.
Marriage mediation - maybe it might be time to sit down and talk through some things. Getting tuned up can truly help with all the pressure a couple endures.
Develop the disciplines of soul health - Learning to cope with the pressure is all about leading yourself well and staying spiritually vibrant.
Intentional community - because the kids are young, and there is so much going on, many couples just opt out of a life group or even regular church attendance. But it’s during this time that these relationships become even more vital in life.
#3 - THE FORTIES: The Power Decade
Again, if the thirties were invested properly, the forties can be a time of tremendous gain. Now, you are competent enough in your career that you can expect the momentum of success. What you know is now second nature to you. You have practiced and worked at things long enough that you can rely on these developed skills.
In your home life, potentially, you now have older children. You start to coach them and prepare them for their own future.
Now is the time when you typically have enough energy to get a lot done and enough experience and developed skill to function effectively. This decade is when you are at your high points. Although your energy starts to diminish a little bit, you have more than enough to work hard. You are also at a peak in terms of skill and experience. What you need during this season:
Physical disciplines - diet and exercise become so important to maintain stamina.
Faithfulness & endurance in marriage - too many relationships start to feel stale during this season. A mid-life crisis can hit where people long for what it felt like when they first fell in love and had more freedom and less stress. Too many mistakes are made that break lives apart during this season.
Significant Work - Bob Buford, in his book HALFTIME, says that we live the first half of our lives for success and the second half for significance. Now is the time to start to think about using our skills to make the biggest difference in the world.
Challenge - we can get into a rut if we are not being pushed to go further, pray more, rise higher, keep learning and growing in every way.
#4 - THE FIFTIES: The Transitional Decade
As I write this, I am in the middle of this season in my life. What I can tell you is that my energy levels have significantly diminished. My vision is still as strong as ever. But my stamina is not what it was. This reality has me thinking about the need to function differently, and to approach my life with wisdom.
Since I know that I cannot do what I do forever, I need to start to think about succession. Who will I raise up? How do I plan to pass the baton well? What do I see in my own future? What is God calling me to do next? These are all the questions that should be on the mind of someone in this era.
What’s amazing about this decade is the potential joy. The joy of grandchildren. They joy of financial freedom (again if you have managed the previous decades well). The joy of what you have built in your life and the fruit that it continues to produce. Here’s what we all need during this time:
A financial plan - thinking about retirement - how much we will need and what we do we need to do to get there.
A life plan - People now live life long enough, in most cases, to get a ‘second life’. We can choose what we want to do with our future, not what we have to do.
A plan for our health - now is the time figure out what you need to be and stay strong. If you have not already worked on vitamins, nutrition, exercise, it is now that this becomes essential.
Next generational focus - who are the sons and daughters, both naturally and spiritually, that you want to pour your life into?
#5 - THE SIXTIES - The Decade Of Blessing
I remember watching both my parents and my in-laws as they walked through this decade. When my father was thinking of retiring (after 40 years as the pastor of one church), I was helping him process that major decision. One of the things that I said to him was this, ‘Your value is not determined any longer by what you build, but by who you bless.’
So many in the next generation need your encouragement. They need your advice. They need to know that you believe in them. What you have done with your life carries weight. Since that is the case, you should use your authority well. Speak life. Celebrate your kids and grandchildren.
Too many older people get a reputation for being cranky, wishing for the good old days, and complaining about how the next generation is doing it all wrong. What a tragedy! Instead of trying to wish for the past, choose to bless the future. Here’s what is needed at this time:
A focus on sons and daughters - know who you are going to celebrate and make the continual choice to bless in word, with finances, and in deeds.
A second life occupation - find out what you want to do with your time and enjoy making a difference. But do it in a way that does not come with heavy obligation.
Lots of time to enjoy your life - You have worked hard, so find ways do what you love. If you can afford it, travel or engage in the hobbies that you truly love.
Financial plan - start to work the plan so that you can live without the pressure of needing large amounts of ongoing income.
#6 - THE SEVENTIES AND BEYOND: The Legacy Decade
Obviously, this is the final season of life. Few live into their nineties. I think the average life expectancy in the USA is mid-70s. It’s during this time that health typically starts to decline. Energy decreases. Purpose shifts. Now there is less ability to accomplish but more ability to impart. Every conversation with family and friends carries more meaning.
I know that I felt the impact of my grandparents prayers. I was in my twenties and thirties, when they were in their seventies and beyond. When the saw me, they reminded me that they were praying for me and that they were proud of me. These things meant so much to me.
Here’s what we need in this decade:
The courage to say what needs to be said - apologize, encourage, bless.
The joy of remembering the best day of your life. Take the time to tell the stories you want the next generation to learn from and take with them when you are gone.
The commitment to stay healthy and fit - if you are able to keep your energy up, do whatever you can do to make this season strong.
The clarity of what you want to pass on as your legacy to the next generation.
Why outline all of this? I think it helps to see where you are and what is coming next. I pray that whatever season you are in it would be a season that would be leveraged well so that you can say that you lived your best life.