Three Moments Of Self-Doubt & Personal Crisis

As I was reading my Bible this morning, I was struck by the interactions that Moses has with God in Exodus 6. God gives Moses four massive prophetic promises that Jews have celebrated for thousands of years in the ceremony of the four cups of the Passover Meal. 

But Moses is lost in the crisis of the current moment. He has just had his own people call him out because Pharaoh has made their lives even more miserable! “Make bricks without straw!” This crisis, which followed Moses' first few steps of obedience, shook Moses and brought back some old fears and doubts.

Moses’s life reveals three moments in our spiritual journey where we are tempted to sink down into doubt, insecurity, fear, and therefore, are tempted to live in discouragement and disobedience.

MOMENT #1- WHEN GOD CALLS US

In Exodus 3, Moses is in front of the burning bush protesting God’s call. God answers Moses’ objections with sign miracles and shares His name, “I AM WHO I AM.” But Moses continues to balk and brings up the greatest insecurity of his life: “I AM NOT A GOOD SPEAKER. I HAVE A STUTTERING ISSUE.”

Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue. The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Exodus 4:10-12

But Moses remains unconvinced! He begs God to send someone else. God reveals that He has sent Moses a partner and companion, Aaron, who is already walking through the wilderness to meet him. And finally, Moses decides to obey God.

MOMENT #2 - WHEN PEOPLE CRITICIZE US

Moses’ next moment of doubt came after the Israelites grew discouraged by the increased brutality of their slavery and refused to listen to Moses any longer.

I have heard the groaning of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are enslaving, and I have remembered my covenant. “Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with an uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the Lord.’”Moses reported this to the Israelites, but they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and harsh labor. Then the Lord said to Moses,  “Go, tell Pharaoh king of Egypt to let the Israelites go out of his country.” Exodus 6:5-11

“But Lord!” Moses objected. “My own people won’t listen to me anymore.  How can I expect Pharaoh to listen? I’m such a clumsy speaker!” Exodus 6:12 

God had given Moses His world-shaking promise about what He was getting ready to do, but when the people resisted and rejected him, Moses was reduced to his old doubts and fears. "It must be because I can't talk well. It's me. I am the problem."

MOMENT #3 - WHEN WE ARE CHALLENGED TO STEP OUT IN FAITH

Exodus chapter six ends with God ignoring Moses' self-doubt, challenging him to do what He had asked him to do.

Now when the Lord spoke to Moses in Egypt, he said to him, “I am the Lord. Tell Pharaoh king of Egypt everything I tell you.” But Moses said to the Lord, “Since I speak with faltering lips, why would Pharaoh listen to me?” Exodus 6:28-30

The first time Moses brings up this personal weakness to the Lord, God answers him with reassurance. "Haven't I made your tongue? I will put words in your mouth." and then again, "I am sending you a partner and a brother to help you. He will be like a mouthpiece for you."  But as time goes on, God says less. It's almost as if God is saying, “Refer back the last promise I made to you and just walk forward.” 

The succeeding verses of Exodus 7 go on to say- Then the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron will be your prophet. You are to say everything I command you, and your brother Aaron is to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites go out of his country. But I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and though I multiply my signs and wonders in Egypt,  he will not listen to you. Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and with mighty acts of judgment I will bring out my divisions, my people the Israelites. And the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord when I stretch out my hand against Egypt and bring the Israelites out of it. Moses and Aaron did just as the Lord commanded them.”

We could say that the matter was concluded like this, " Moses got over it and just did as the Lord had commanded. And God did what He had promised!"

Maybe it's time for you and I to do the same.