How Is The Health Of Your Soul?
One of the major things that I have attempted to do in the last ten month, in every decision that we have made regarding our approach to Covid-19, is consider the needs of my staff before anything else . My first question has been, how does this affect my team? I want to come out on the other side of this with a strong, unified, and healthy team.
When it comes to a leader’s health and well-being, I recognize that there are certain things that I can do as the leader of the organization to build a healthy culture. But there are some things that are completely out of my control. The fact of the matter is:
No one can be responsible for the health of your soul but you!
Culture. Work environment. Positive circumstances. Mentoring. All these things can help add value to your soul-health, but none of them are the determining factor. The absence of some things makes it more challenging to be healthy, but not impossible.
Proverbs says in chapter four, verse 23: “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Do you hear that? You guard your heart. That’s the challenge. It’s up to you. If you do a great job, the rest of your life flows from that one developed skill-set. So how do we invest in the health of our own soul?
#1 - Manage Your Thoughts
Another Proverb (23:7) teaches us “For as he thinks within himself ….so he is.” What happens in your thoughts shapes your world. You frame and re-frame events, relationships, feelings, and situations based on what you choose to believe.
A strong and healthy leader knows what it is to “take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ!” (2 Corinthians 10:5). There are lies we tend to believe, and feelings that dictate our self-concept. The devil knows that we are most vulnerable when we are wavering back and forth on the truth.
It’s up to you and me to spot the lies, expose the falsity, arrest the thought pattern, and substitute truth in its place. No one else will do this for you. You can be encouraged by someone else’s words, but no one else can remove bad thinking and replace it with the truth of God’s Word.
#2 - Direct Your Affections
One of the myths about life is that there is nothing we can do about our feelings. Some say, “I just don’t love him/her anymore.’ Or, “I just don’t feel a passion for ministry any longer.’ ‘My spiritual life is just dry right now.’
It is true that momentary feelings are impossible to control. At the moment you are in, you feel what you feel. What you feel might not be based on truth. But it is what you feel. You can’t help it for the few moments that make up today or this week.
But Jesus taught, “Where your treasure is there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21) Another way to say that is that your affections follow your investments. If you are pouring time, energy, money, and concern into someone or something - you will start to feel a strong passion there. If you are not pouring into an area or a person, you will start to feel your passion lag.
#3 - Steward Your Energy
If I was writing this in my thirties, I might not have included this point!?! But as I grow older, I realize that energy-management is key. I have to consider some factors in being a good steward of my best moments.
What activities replenish me? Which ones drain me?
Am I getting enough sleep?
Am I going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time consistently?
Am I making wise choices in eating foods that contribute to my health?
#4 - Determine Your Schedule & Pace
At a young age I took on a large responsibility. At twenty-seven, I became the Lead Pastor of Allison Park Church which was a church of over 500 people. One of the first concerns I started to have was how to control my schedule, and not let me schedule control me. Within the first 8 years after becoming pastor, Melodie and I had five kids.
There was demand on my time every where I looked!
I had to find a way to prioritize my life. What was I called to do? What was I gifted to do? What did I need to delegate to someone else? When would I take time alone with God? When would I take time with my wife? When and how many appointments could I fit into a week?
When would I say no? To whom? How?
I heard a teaching by Pastor Bill Hybels that really spoke to me. He explained that the key factor in managing your time and your life was found in three words: ADVANCED DECISION MAKING. This was the discipline of mapping out your week based on your values, setting appointments and boundaries for yourself, and then sticking to them. This was a game-changer for me.
#5 - Focus Your Relationships
Who you spend your time with is so critical for the health of your soul and the productivity of your life. Proverbs 13:20 declares, “If you walk with the wise, you grow wise - but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Basically, find the people you aspire to be like and choose to be with them.
Second, you need to identify the people you are called to mentor and reach, and choose to spend your allotted time on them. Remember, you can’t mentor everyone. Jesus spent most of His time with three of His disciples. He also poured into the twelve disciples, extended His influence to seventy-two additional leaders and weekly ministered to the multitudes. But the majority of His time was spent with a few.
#6 - Be Aware Of Your Vulnerabilities
One of the statements in the Lord’s Prayer is this: “Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.” This begs the question, where am I most vulnerable right now? How do I stay watchful, and therefore, strong? Remember that Satan has a strategy against your life. He knows when you are fatigued, discouraged, or weak. He knows what bait to use against you.
So be ready for it. Stay aware of yourself so that you can stay strong. Actually, I was reading a recent email from Sam Chand’s organization. He talked about a study that he did among some high profile leaders:
The data came back with these findings:
70-80% of the leaders said that they did NOT have a committed relationship where they were safe to be 100% transparent, where that relationship was totally confidential, and was not someone who depended on them in some way.
70-80% of the leaders said that they did NOT have a coaching or mentoring relationship that was solely committed to and skilled at helping them improve as a leader.
Honestly, these two findings totally surprised me. I could not believe that that many high-level leaders were virtually “going it alone,” receiving no help. It was shocking to me that they were that alone and without anyone who just built into them. But after seeing those scores, the results of the third question did not surprise me at all:
70-80% of the leaders said YES to having some condition of pain, distress or reduced functioning, which had reached clinical proportions.
The findings from the third question did not surprise me at all, because that is what happens when no one is building into the leader who is always giving and pouring him or herself out for others. In other words, if they were going it alone, getting no help, they were going to ultimately end up suffering in some way.
This result hit me hard! What a sad situation that so many leaders are dealing with ‘clinical level issues’ - when the solution to this problem is found in such a simple place. Everyone needs to find a safe relationship to be transparent, to get coaching, and to process pain.
#7 - Process Your Pain
This becomes the final and maybe the most important area to manage when it comes to soul-health. Again, Dr Chand in his book on Leadership Pain says this, “Pain is a part of progress. Anything that grows experiences some pain. If I avoid all pain, I’m avoiding growth. Reluctance to face pain is your greatest limitation. There is no growth without change, no change without loss, and no loss without pain.”
If you are a strong leader, you will see a lot of progress. With progress will come change. With change will come feelings of loss or disappointment, criticism or struggle. It’s just a part of the journey.
So a healthy leader, who will lead for the long-haul, must become effective at praying through and processing their points of pain. My desire for you is that this year be a healthy year of incredible growth. But even more than this year, I pray that you might serve for many decades to come and finish your race healthy and well.